Thursday, March 17, 2016

Day 118 - Wednesday, March 16, 2016

"Someone once asked me how I hold my head up so high after all I have been through. I said it's because no matter what, I am a survivor. Not a victim."
-Patricia Barkley

I woke up and lit my morning incense. I don't remember the scent. I think it was love. I am trying to implement a routine in my life to bring about mental peace and stability. Though through my writing, sometimes I may come across strong, I am deeply disturbed and still hurting about the fact that I was in a relationship with an undercover faggot. That still hurts. I think it will always hurt.

On a brighter note, my NutriBullet is working again. Thank god because I can't afford to buy another one right now. I took my morning shadoobie, washed up, then made my way to the kitchen to prepare my Bromide smoothie for the day. This time I used cantaloupe and watermelon as my fruits of choice. Yummy! I took the herb capsules at work as usual.

My friend at work was waiting with open arms for the bromide smoothie when I got there. Yes, it is fun having someone to drink it with. However, I am going to have to put a stop to this very soon because the product is too expensive to be sharing every morning with my friend just for weight loss purposes when I have a fatal disease. Besides, she eats everything she wants to so the smoothie will serve no purpose afterwhile. She's not even fat. Lol.

When I got home from work my yard was just about spotless. My neighbor was there with another guy raking and bagging all of the leaves in my yard. Now here,s the catch. I smiled when I pulled up to be polite, but just about all of his family was sitting outside and waiting for me to come home so they could see my reaction. I felt so uncomfortable. They know my neighbor has had a crush on me for over a year and I felt pressured to be nice to him because of what he was doing for me.

Thankfully, the lifestyle that I have only allowed me enough time to get out of my car, smile, say thank you. Go in the house. Change clothes. And take my son right back out of the door to karate practice.


I ate a bag of lettuce for lunch. Plain. I enjoyed it. It was healthy chips. I don't care too much about flavor anymore. However, cravings are my issue. Sometimes I have serious salt cravings which make me want french fries. Other times, I will have red meat cravings, which make me want burgers, steak, or meat loaf. 

Today was a red meat day. Yes, I confess. I relapsed. I was so down about the bills being raised and all the money I had to spend today that I had barbecued ribs. Oh, the shame! And then I self-talked myself all the way there. I said things like, you don't have to follow the nutritional guide when you take the prescribed medication, and I am just rewarding myself for making it through the day without deviating from the list. So, I can have this one thing.

By the time I was finished with that foolishness I felt just awful. I knew what I was doing was wrong but I just couldn't stop myself. I just had to have those ribs. The crazy part about that was, once I got the ribs, they weren't satisfactory. I didn't feel right eating them. So much so that the desire for them completely left and they didn't even taste the same anymore.

Now, you won't believe what I am about to tell you. I was so down about breaking my diet and eating the ribs that I went to get cookies. Depression food. The Pepperidge Farm: Milk Chocolate Coconut Almond cookies. You know, just to get the taste of the ribs out of my mouth. Lol. Just kidding. But I felt horrible by the time I was finished.

Cravings affect progress. After you eat something that is not healthy, your body uses up valuable energy to digest it. Energy that could have been put to healing use.


This was the first month I have to pay the increased living costs. It really killed my spirit to let go of all of that money. But I need a roof over my head so I did what I had to do. Spending all of your money on bills when you're saving for something important can really get you down. I need every dime I can save to put towards my next package. It's not looking so good right now. I may be about 6 to 7 hundred dollars short. What a tragedy? But it's fine. I will pull through. I may not be able to afford the package for a month or two, but I will definitely get back on it and continue to save.


Sometimes I feel like I'm losing myself. I put in so many hours of acting like I'm okay and pretending to be normal that I start to become the character. I don't want to have to pretend all the time. I just want to freely be sad and concerned about my condition at times. But I know people will press the issue. And nine times out of ten, once they get me to talk about it, I won't feel any better than before. I'll probably just feel worse. I've learned my lesson. My health will no longer be discussed outside of this forum.

The medication stopped me in my tracks and cause me to doubt the claims of Dr. Sebi.

I have to cure myself. I have to prove there is a cure for HIV/AIDS. That will reduce the chances of my son catching it when he gets older. I am afraid for him.


My son got in trouble at school today for talking. He had to stand in time out. It just so happened that I decided to do a drop-in today at his school. I do that every now again. Just pay my son and the teachers an unexpected visit. 

The teacher told me that she feels badly for him because it's not his fault. The work is not challenging enough for him and he gets bored with it. She suggested that I look into enrolling him into a magnet school or any sort of higher learning because their school cannot keep up with him. They don't have the tools. Three other staff members and teachers have told me that about my son over the past three months. So, I advised the teacher that when he has finished his work, allow him to read a book. He is a book worm. He always has a novel in his book bag. Instead of making him sit there idly, let him read. That way he won't talk. Simple.


I began reading Dr. Sebi's other book today. I had to pause continuously while reading it because I was so blown away by how similar Mama Hay (Dr. Sebi's grandmother, whom is his greatest influence and raised him) and I are. We have so much in common. It was creepy and empowering at the same time.

I am still going to finish posting the excerpts from the other book. I just haven't had any time to catch up.



(Pg. 83)
Dr Sebi drinks Fiji spring water.

(Pg. 85)
So the healing is coming from us.
Yes, we are proud to be the servant of the world, the Black race.

(Pg. 86)
I said to you one day curing AIDS and lupus and herpes, blindness and diabetes, that is as ABC for me.

the African people lived for millions of years without the aid of money. Now the African people find themselves needing money to feed themselves. The African needs to starve to death. That in itself is telling them that they have departed so far from their ancestors that now they need money, something that was never part of their repertoire of Africa - money. You can't even eat if you don't have money.

(Pg. 88)
From the healing of the nation we know that we are now on the right track because it brings peace. It brings health. And that is what we had when we were taken away from Africa. We didn't wear glasses. And there were no fat people. All of the sketches and all of the pictures shown about Black slaves you never saw fat ones.

(Pg. 89)
surrounding the concern was opposition from others and I gathered that agitated him.

Since he embodies all he advocates, there shouldn't be opposition but acceptance.

(Pg. 90)
So, he has chosen death over life. That is what glucose will do to the hypothalamus.

Well that makes it better. You don't know. You see, if you knew that you were eating it, you'd be chastising yourself every day, because you're unaware. But if you don't know, you're enjoying it.

(Pg. 91)
Meat was never supposed to be consumed by the Black race.

What occurs is that the difference has never been treated. Over the last 500 years, the intent is to group all of us in obedience to philosophy. But that does not hold true for the plants, and the flowers and the planet. Even the birds, they all obey the dictate that was designed to support their life and their cellular group.

(Pg. 93)
what's retained in spelt harvesting - nutrients, high fiber, B complex vitamins - complements and nourishes the immune system.

(Pg. 95)
Anything that has an acid base will undermine your immune system immediately, primarily because it's an acid base. It's going to eat you up. It's going to weaken the system. It's going to weaken the red blood cells. Acid causes the central nervous system to contract, which again causes you to go into a state of despair.

(Pg. 100)
There are 102 minerals in everything that exists that is natural. If you take clouds and take them to a laboratory and break them down, you'll find 102 minerals. If you take the soil and you analyze it, 102 minerals. Sea salt, 102. The human body, 102. Well, anything that is unnatural doesn't have that arrangement, like carrots and beets and rice and beans.

(Pg. 101)
Life doesn't express itself in one. You've got to use the whole plant, not part of it.

(Pg. 102)
But when the individual that had AIDS was cured, then I was encouraged to know, or when the third man was seeing I was further encouraged.

The reality is yes, Dr. Sebi can cure AIDS and lupus and herpes. But yes, on the other hand, it doesn't mean anything because we're not going to support him. I accept.

(Pg. 103)
When I was taken to Harlem State Building [Adam Clayton Powell State Office Building] to address AIDS, the African American War on AIDS in 1989, I told them that I had the cure for AIDS and they laughed.

(Pg. 104)
And if the diet is not changed I will live long enough to see that in the next 30 years, America is not going to change.

(Pg. 105)
When I went to Zimbabwe and I showed these people with diagnostic sheets from laboratories that they support, and they rejected it, I knew they were disrespectful. And that is all I needed to see. I'm not going to make any excuses for Africa.

Yet, they tell the world that they would do anything to combat the ravages of AIDS. That is far from the truth. There isn't any African country but one that is interested in the eradication of AIDS or any other disease. That's Guinea.

How do I know? Because they know about me and they know I cure AIDS.

(Pg. 106)



  1. Go Queen and yea she needs to split costs. I don't know why people need what you have if they are not gonna adhere to the life style i gave daddy some he like it though. I told him just drank dont breathe lol. One day we will be free from the hoofs of these malicious ass people who created this monster... keep ya head up Queen xoxoxoxo

    1. Daddy???

      Yes, soon and very soon we will be free and making our movie. Lol

      -Queen Selah

  2. Xoxoxoxo im trying to worknon money so I can go with you to USHA then we can make our MOVIE

    1. It's not looking good on my end for the USHA trip. The money is not coming fast enough. But either way it goes, I know I will be cured. And with or without USHA, we can still make our movie as the two queens who annihilated HIV!

      We can do this! Our money is looking funny but our cure is realer than the Easter bunny!

      Lol. I am so lame. I know. Just wanted to make you smile empress. Keep going.

      Let the blessings flow,

      -Queen Selah

  3. Love yo life xoxoxoxo.....laughing at the same damn time.