|"When we have second thoughts about something, our first thoughts don't seem like thoughts at all - just feelings."|
-Sydney J. Harris
Monday, March 14, 2016
Day 115 - Sunday, March 13, 2016
I have been having a lot of second thoughts lately. Second thoughts about whether or not this stuff really works. Whether or not Dr. Sebi's products cure AIDS. My thoughts go back and forth. I am all over the place with it. I have always believed in Dr. Sebi's abilities long before I was diagnosed with HIV. But now that I have it I have been hearing a lot of horror stories like this story about a man who is on his death bed from AIDS and claims Dr. Sebi and his daughter is a fraud. And stories about others who have died. I've heard about lawsuits and the condition of the USHA Village as well. There's so much negativity surrounding this man and his claims.
Then I remember what happened when I followed my first thought. I remember how great I felt when I was using his products. I remember how much weight I lost and how fully energized I felt all of the time. I remember having a nice, smooth, flat stomach that I was proud to take to the beach. And then...
The medication came and tried to wipe me out. I am always tired. I am constipated one day and having diarrhea the next. There is a tiny bulge of belly fat forming where my flat stomach used to be. My legs are weak, and I'm almost, always cold. How is that better?
Yes, my viral load may drop down to undetectable status in a short period of time but at what cost? I am pumping my body full of acids in order to achieve that. It has been medically proven that acids are not good for the majority of the body. Taking meds makes me feel as if I am being robbed of something. I have never even been the type to take Tylenol or Aspirin. I have never been for medicine. I would always drink tea and rest. That was my cure for everything. So, why am I questioning herbs now?
Because I am scared...
Scared because Dr. Sebi's products are too expensive and I am afraid I won't be able to afford them long enough to be cured. By "expensive" I don't mean that they are overpriced. I simply mean that may not be able to afford them. But I have to snap out of it. Time is of the essence. I need to choose a side and stick to it. I keep saying my biggest regret was taking those antiviral pills for a reason. I hate what it does to my body. But consistency is the key. I have to make a decision and stick to it. But a decision based on what?
Research! Time to hit the books (Facebook included. Lol)...
Today, I finally finished his book. I will post several excerpts from the book in my future posts. His book gave me everything I was looking for...hope. Answers. Explanations.
Dr. Sebi is tired. Tired of being skepticized and rejected when he's just trying to do good. I felt that way from all of the opposition he has been facing but it was confirmed in the book. He said it himself. That's one of the reasons he retired.
Reading has helped me a lot. I will continue his treatment and I have decided that I must go to the USHA Village. I want to go by this summer while my son is out of school because I couldn't stand to be away from me. He has to come with me. Children are allowed there. I already called to find out. This will be a great opportunity to video tape my healing and the grounds at the USHA Village. One of my readers gave me a link to a woman who is there right now! She made several videos which finalized my decision to go.
Why? Because the staff, one of whom is Dr. Sebi's niece, and the other, his nephew, was very open to being recorded as if they have nothing to hide. The woman in the video showed every aspect of her visit there and the grounds. I also spoke with another woman a few months ago who had just came from there and said she is preparing to go back.
Was she cured on her first visit? Most likely not. But she had to have seen good enough results to want to return and spend that large amount of money again. But I respect people's privacy. I didn't ask her what was her illness or how long she was there.
I see it this way, concerning my situation. My viral load is not high. Based on my research, the viral load can go well into the millions and the lower spectrum of a high viral load begins at 5,000 copies. I'm at 3,000. My immune system is weak. That is more of the issue with my health at the moment. But I don't see that as a big problem either, if I am being honest without fear. The immune system has always been repaired through nutrition. I don't really know of any common medications which were prescribed to rebuild the immune system. Doctors usually distribute medication and antibiotics for colds to kill viruses, germs, and bacteria. Food strengthens your immunity. So, I figure, as long as I can get my viral load undetectable as quickly as possible, rebuilding my immune system will be a gradual adjustment which will come automatically with my lifestyle change of eating alkaline foods. I can be patient on that end. It's the fact that I have a viral load which scares me. I want that virus eradicated from my body. And I will do it. I don't understand how the meds can get you to undetectable status below 20 copies, but can't get you to 0. Are they allowing a few copies to survive in your bloodstream on purpose or are they lying about the quantity of copies? Is the medicine that sneaky? Or is the disease that smart that there are only a few Robo-AIDS amongst them that can defeat any antiviral medication? Maybe the herbs can be the Terminator in this sad, sick, and twisted horror film I feel like I am a part of.
I packed some leftovers from dinner tonight for lunch tomorrow. I made stir fried mushrooms, burro bananas, red, yellow, and green bell peppers, and onions, served with spelt. I added watermelon and cantaloupe for breakfast in the morning.
My son and I also drank some hot Linden tea. It has been proven to remove mucus from the body, among many other health benefits. We snacked on Kamut Puffs while watching the movie "Waterhorse." Now my son wants to go to Scotland. I think that would be a great trip. I love the open landscapes of endless greenery. We will definitely go. One day...
Living has become a tiresome chore.
Beginners shouldn't worry about whether or not their food is organic. They should first try to familiarize themselves and their taste buds with the proper items. Then gradually work their way into organics. One step at a time. Program yourself to reject the wrong foods first. Dr. Sebi didn't change overnight. He says it all the time.But he said eating the wrong things once he knew better made him feel badly. So, eventually, he stopped.
I was standing in the kitchen earlier, looking out of the window, watching my son sit on the porch steps blowing bubbles by himself. He really wants and needs me to play with him, but I just can't right now. Mommy is too weak and has to get better.
I didn't start feeling sick until I began to take the antiviral medications.
Dr. Sebi's lifestyle and life is proof that his methods work. He's in his 80's with a child under the age of 5, doesn't need a walker, and doesn't need glasses. So, why do we continue to question him? It isn't genetics because his brother and grandma died reasonably young.
I don't want to be an advocate for HIV/AIDS. I don't want to help people accept living with this crap. I want them to keep up the good fight. I want everyone to fight forever.
Dr. Sebi's treatment and prescribed medicine can be taken together.