|"Successful people make decisions quickly and firmly. Unsuccessful people make decisions slowly, and they change them often."|
Yet, they choose to see what they want to see. They don't see that I wish I had a family. A real family, not just blood relatives. All the things they are trying to get away from. I don't complain much so I guess they think it's easy. Most of my "friends" or "the people I know" live with someone, either their family or a partner and don't have the responsibility of paying bills. Yet they have so much to complain about and say they want what I have. That's silly to me, but I don't judge because I understand we are all in different seats so we have different views. They have the support they don't want, but I wish I had. It's the people who have easy access to you who take you for granted.
They don't know what it's like to NEVER feel safe because your mother physically abused you and always put men first. Because two of your brothers sexually abused you. And because you can never call the cops and be viewed as the victim instead of the culprit. There's no protection. No justice. They don't know what it's like to NEVER have peace because you always have to be a warrior because you are on your own and you're a woman. To oftentimes overreact because the police don't do their job and your child's life is in your hands. They say I am intelligent, but what they fail to realize is that I love to read, watch documentaries and ask questions. And I'm strong because I have no other choice. Every man I have ever been with has been weaker than me or had less than me. The selection of men these days are very slim pickings and that is just the truth. So, how could a man help me if they need my help? I don't need any placeholders. A man should serve a purpose. I am a queen. There's no joke behind that. I gave birth to a prince. I know my worth. They don't understand what it's like to overcome adversity and triumph over obstacle after obstacle to blossom into the beautiful, virtuous queen I am today just to not be able to find a man who is my match and will love me the way I deserve to be. Then to be judged by my family because I never have a good man, in their approval. These are the selfish reasons they blindly don't help. And it's fine because I beg no one.
What is my purpose???