A detailed day-to-day account of the steps taken in attempting to cure HIV by way of Dr. Sebi's Nutritional Guide and Cell Food products.
This blog is a journey we will all embark on together and arrive at the end result together. This will be written as it occurs.
Are you a believer? I am!
Tuesday, March 1, 2016
Day 103 - Tuesday, March 1, 2016
I gotta find peace of mind...
That's it! I give up. Today will be my last post. I told you I was tired and felt bad vibes. Well, today I reached my breaking point. I don't care about grammar, spelling, or format at this point. I can barely see the screen through the tears falling down my face. So I am going to make this last post as brief and descriptive as I can bare.
First thing first, I took my son to school, came home and took my treatment. I also made another bromide smoothie using sour sop this time. It turned out just as yummy. I mentally prepared myself to follow the Nutritional Guide 100% from this point forward since I just started a new package and it's the first of the month. I wanted the results to be unobstructed this time.
I decided not to go in to work since I have a doctor's appointment and court today. I already know I am going to be too emotional to have to deal with people in the office. So, I laid in bed dreading the day before me when my co-worker selfishly calls me complaining about her teenage daughter again. I played the therapist role as always until she felt better but I didn't answer any more of her calls for the day. I have my own problems to deal with. She kept texting and asking me to try to make it back to the office because she needs to vent. In my mind I was thinking, that's what you have a husband, sister, mother, father, and in-laws for and all of them live in your house or near by. I knew I wasn't going back.
Around eleven o'clock I headed over to the doctor's office. The first thing the medical assistant did when she walked in was make sure a pharmacy was listed in the computer for me. I immediately knew that was a bad sign. Shortly after, the doctor walked in and jumped right into the results. She told me I needed to start treatment immediately. I am at risk for PCP pneumonia or something like that. As soon as she started talking, I began to zone out. She said my cell count was at 113 and my viral load was 3,783, or something like that.
I went deaf...
Her lips were moving but I heard absolutely nothing from that point on. She was basically telling me that I could die at any moment. My cell count dropped about 30 units and the viral load stayed about the same. Even though the last specialist that I went to told me that those numbers are not reliable because the tests are not identical each time which causes a wide range each time. He said you can run two labs the same day on one person and have two completely different results off by a large amount. Even though I remember him saying that, my optimism was out the window at this point. I came into this thing full of hope, but now I am empty.
She prescribed some medication that started with a P, but I wasn't paying attention. She said it's a once a day pill that will have me undetectable in 8 weeks. She said she also needs to get me some vaccines but my immune system is too weak right now. She might as well shove that. I will never agree to vaccines. She also prescribed antibiotics and Vitamin D3 because she said I am at risk for infections that could cause cancer at this point. She said she wants me to live but this news is killing me. They took my blood in the lab to run a genotype test.
While I was at the office my son called me from school on his cell. He said he was in the cafeteria breaking up a fight and a kid punched him in the face and now he has a bump on his face. Wow! Now, I was pissed. My precious child had a black eye or a bruise! Someone is going to have hell to pay.
I left the office and went straight to his school. His teacher came to get me from the office and brought me the library where they were. She kept telling me he is a sweet boy and he did nothing wrong. He was just trying to help. My eyes welled up but I controlled the tears when I saw the lump under my precious child's eye. The school failed to protect him and he failed to protect himself. It turns out he didn't even hit the child back. My son is a national karate champion. I don't understand why he refuses to defend himself. He told me he didn't want to be the bad guy. I got angry as hell and explained to him the difference between being the aggressor and the victim. I had nothing else to say. At this point I was empty and disappointed. I fear that no matter how smart my son is, he'll never be able to stand on his own because he is too nice and naive.
I signed him out of school early and tried to race to the courthouse. There was traffic everywhere. It was enough to make me cry. My stress levels were through the roof. I made it there ten minutes late. My son had to sit out in the hall for almost an hour while I waited for my case to be called. I was calm until Kevin was called into the courtroom. Then, just like the last time, my body began to involuntarily shake with anger. Rage! I hate him. He deserves to be dead. Him and Anthony both.
Long story short, the judge denied my request for a restraining order because he said he couldn't use the testimony of others, even though they wrote letters. He said that was hearsay. This shit is ridiculous. Kevin used a letter last time and was granted all types of perks in court. He had no concrete evidence and lied his ass off. I didn't even get mad. I am getting used to losing. I thanked the judge and walked out. Fuck it.
My son saw me walk in the hall and said, "What happened mommy? It didn't go good, huh? They denied it?" I told him I was too upset to talk about it. Too upset at the lab results, too upset at the fact that he didn't defend himself, to upset at the outcome of the court hearing, and too upset at the fact that I have fucking AIDS!!!
The story of my life, rushing from one responsibility to the next. I had to fight my way through traffic to get my son to basketball practice now.
I can't do this alone...
I am so done with this shit. Dr. Sebi's method might work but I am done with it. His way requires a lot of help and I have absolutely no support system. The few people who claim to want to help only offer the type of help they want to give and not the type that I need. Not to mention that they are rarely ever available or interested in helping. Some of them only ask how I'm doing when I have a breakdown and stop answering my phone. I feel like if they really were concerned about how I was doing they would read my blog. I don't spare any details. I wish I never told anyone that I caught this death trap. I regret letting these people know my sensitive and private information. I stand alone. And being alone is almost impossible to follow the Sebi treatment plan.
I'm not doing it anymore. If you guys recall from the beginning of my blog, I stated that I was doing this because even though I have heard a lot of hoopla about DR. Sebi curing AIDS, I couldn't seem to find ONE testimony of such or any proof. So, I wanted to be the first. I believed in Dr. Sebi's work so much that I even decided to post day to day so everyone could know that my healing was not a lie. But I'm going to eat whatever the hell I want and take these damn killer medications that these monsters prescribe. I give up. I'm going to live my life until I die. I'm gong to stop caring so much. I might even quit my job. I need a fucking break for crying out loud! Is that too much to ask?
I'm tired of being good. I don't want to be that good girl anymore. It's miserable. Righteousness is a lonely, unrewarding path. The wicked are winning. Look at Kevin and Anthony for example.
I'm not taking the treatment anymore. I am going to pack them all away back into the box it was shipped in and take this damn one pill a day until I am undetectable starting tonight. Maybe then, I will think about using the products. But at this point, they are not fast enough and are too expensive for me to be playing around. This flimsy hope is breaking me down. Did I forget to mention that I shit myself when I left the doctor's office today? Yep, that's right. I shit myself. I am an emotional person. This is too much for one woman to bear.
I am sorry if I let anyone down, but I am tired and I have absolutely no help. I'm not saying that Dr. Sebi's stuff is a fluke. I'm just saying that it isn't working for me based on the inconsistency of the test results and my lack of patience. But if you have a support team, by all means try it. I am looking forward to being undetectable in 8 weeks. I need a break...
If any one reading this has been cured or knows someone who has been cured, please leave a comment. Names are not necessary. Everyone is entitled to their privacy.