Monday, February 22, 2016

Day 93 - Saturday, February 20, 2016

"We may encounter many defeats, but we must not be defeated."
-Maya Angelou

I am Superwoman today! Can you believe it? Two days in a row! It's been a long time since I have had two good days back to back. 

My motivation at times.

(Lauryn is my idol! I love her to life and everything she stands for. I love how transparent she is. I am the same way. I wish to meet her one day. Not like in a concert setting. But to actually meet her and shake her hand or give her a hug. Her music raised me when my mother dropped the ball.)


I woke up this morning and got my little man ready for his basketball game. I put on my new outfit and tried to settle my nerves and prep myself for what was about to take place. They told me I could come back to his practices, but I had to apologize to all of the parents for my behavior last week. I felt mildly angry because they were treating me as if I was some sort of out of control monster who was a threat to the children. But I had to suck it up because I understand what they are trying to do. I have to accept responsibility for the role my actions played in this situation. I gave them the ammunition to use against me because I didn't exercise self-control when it came to my child and his safety. Honestly, I usually NEVER exercise self-control when it comes to the safety of my child. But I'm never too big to learn. Change is growth.

I pumped myself up and headed to the basketball court. I sent my son ahead of me so he wouldn't have to wear the cloud of shame with me. I gave a heartfelt apology to the parents before the game began and gave a brief recap of what took place last Saturday for the ones who weren't there. I was more sincere than I expected to be. I thought the warrior within would get the best of me and I would have been reluctant to apologize. But I meant every word that I said.

When I was done, one of the parents suggested that I apologize to the kids as well. That was definitely a great idea. However, the way that she said it made me feel like she was trying to be a b***h! I'm very good at discovering people's intent. But I overlooked her motive and happily agreed because I love children fro the depths of my soul and want my son to have a peaceful remainder of the season.

After the apology, the parents began to huddle around me like old times as they pressed me for laughs and entertainment. I love to make people smile. I could tell by their behavior that they missed me. 

This game was the most exciting one yet. There was a lot of action and the coach made my son the team captain and the point guard. You have no idea how proud of him I was. I couldn't even be a point guard. That person has to play well under constant pressure while bringing the ball up the court. He was awesome!

After the game, my little king came to me and gave me the tightest hug his little arms could muster up, and kissed me on my nose. He said, "thank you for being here mommy, and watching me play. I did this all for you. I would be sad if you weren't here to see me. You always support me in everything I do."

I love my Cuddle Bug. He's the sweetest!

After the game, we rushed right over to my gun license training session. My son sat in with us as we learned the ins and outs of gun-handling. I paid $100 and will have to go back next week to go to the shooting range. I am going to have my son to shoot as well. He's not excited by guns and that makes me comfortable with him learning how to handle one. You never know, he may have to be the one to save me. I don't want him to hurt himself in the process.

I also joined a conference call this afternoon with my brother and others. The topic was about nutrition. The people were complaining about the lack of variety of Dr. Sebi's list and saying that's why they don't follow him 100%. They were saying that there is no way other foods are not on the list. I told them that the problem with us, humans, is that we are too spoiled. Every animal I can think of only eats a handful of foods. Five to ten items. Humans want to eat 30 items from every food group. There are more than enough items on Dr. Sebi's Nutritional Guide to sustain us. We've been reprogrammed to care about taste instead of substance. We desire the illusion of comfort and satisfaction.

I took my treatment today.

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