Thursday, February 18, 2016

Day 88 - Monday, February 15, 2016

"See fantasy is what people want, but reality is what they need. And I just retired from the fantasy part."
-Lauryn Hill
Image result for Presidents day meme

Today I treated myself to one of the things that make me feel beautiful. I got my eyebrows arched. Although it only costs five dollars to do so, I really don't like going anywhere and I have a problem with doing nice things for myself. It's so funny the difference a simple eyebrow arch can make. I look beautiful. I want to experiment with the natural hair process a bit now. And by natural, I mean no perm.

It's so funny that I have always been "natural" for the most part until I decided to go natural. Meaning, I would always wear my own hair proudly. The difference is I used to get perms, so my hair was straight and easier for me to manage. Now that I have decided to go all the way natural (no perms or relaxers) it seems that I have had to wear more weave than I ever had in my life. I don't care for extensions but due to the fact that I haven't had a perm in over a year, half of my hair is straight and the other half is curly. So that doesn't look to good and I'm not ready to do the big chop yet. So I get protective styles while I grow the perm out.

I want to try a twist out though. If you guys don't know by now, Lauryn Hill is my idol. I do not want to lock my hair but I would love a look similar to that of the one she had on the album cover for the Miseducation of Lauryn Hill. A twist out will get me close to that. So, I asked my friend if she would do it for me. She said she would but she wanted to braid it down to get the results. That's not what I want. That's the easy way out and you don't get quality curls from it.

My friend does hair for a living but NO NATURAL STYLES. All of her work is usually loaded with a bunch of weave or holding sprays, gel, and heat. I'm not saying that her work isn't beautiful. Because it most definitely is. It's just not my style. I hate gel and holding spray. And I don't like color. I have never colored my hair in my life.

I told her that I didn't want it braided down and she insisted that was the way to do it. She told me to Google it. The thing about her is that she doesn't treat me like a respectable customer whenever I ask her to do my hair. She always tries to do my hair the way she wants it instead of what I asked for. She says I am too plain. Well guess what? That's the way I like it. On top of that, she doesn't really exercise much professionalism when it comes to my hair, but she is convenient with very fair prices. We planned to go shopping together also. She is a very good stylist to a certain extent. She knows what's in and what goes good together. I am more of a dress and high heels sort of person. Dresses always fall nicely on my curves and heels accentuate my long legs. I can't lose in a dress and heals. But I wanted to try something different. Something a bit more casual and for every day purposes.

Bear popped up at my house in the afternoon. Another pop up. I asked him how did he know I was home. He said I'm a good girl and I'm always home. I can't argue with him there. He came in with a little book bag and walked into my bedroom. He sat on the bed as I followed and unloaded his bag. He had a bunch of packets. He wanted me to help him study for a test at work in order for him to get a pay raise.

I love to study!!! So, I was happy. He and I have never done things like this together. He laid down and got comfortable as I sat on the bed with my back leaning against the wall and facing him. I think I missed my calling as a teacher. 

I quizzed him and asked the questions in ways that helped him connect the wording to the answers. We had a lot of fun. In the middle of our studying, my friend called me to let me know she had just finished her last client for the afternoon and was ready to go to the mall. All that studying with Bear made me forget that I had plans to go to the mall with her. I told him I had to wrap it up. He was upset. He doesn't like my friend and he definitely didn't appreciate our time together being cut short. Neither did I, but I had a prior commitment and I like to keep my word.

He said he really enjoyed studying with me because my voice is easy to listen to and the way I read draws him in to pay close attention. Bear said we needed to do this again and if he studies with me again he's positive he will pass his exam.

I really appreciate compliments like those. I get tired of hearing things about my physical appearance. It made me feel good to be able to connect on a mental level. He wouldn't stop smiling. He's never seen me in my zone when I'm teaching. I had my son's room remodeled to resemble a classroom. Teaching is one of my passions. He gave me a hug and tried to kiss me but I turned my face. I refuse to go down that road and develop feelings and yearnings and things of that nature. I have to remain strong. I don't want to become attached to anyone. I want to keep all of my attention on myself and my son at the moment.

He caught my drift and smiled out of embarrassment. I'm sorry that he was embarrassed but I made it clear to him previously that I was not interested in dating right now. I'm sticking to my guns.

He thanked me and told me we would hook up to study again on the weekend when we are both off from work. He also asked me to by two pairs of Levi jeans, some nice t-shirts, and a pair of Converse. He said the college girl look fits my personality perfectly. Bear could hands down win a Best Dressed contest for men so I value his input. However, he lost me on the Converse part. I hate Converse shoes! And I hate low tops! If I'm going to wear sneakers, I would prefer for them to be high tops or mids. As for the jeans, it's hard for me to find jeans my size because of my height and lack of patience. 

I am tall so if the jeans fit my waist, they won't go past my ankles. If they are long enough, then the waist will be too big. But I am willing to give it a try. However, I did enlighten him on the fact that the Levi jeans company promotes slavery. I told him to look at the label. It represents the punishment of runaway slaves. There are two horses and a man with a whip. It represents when they would tie a slave to two horses. Then whip the slaves to run in two different directions until he rips apart. Bear was shocked and said he never even paid attention to the label and that he would look into it.

I went to the mall but by the time my friend was ready, the mall was due to close shortly. So, I didn't really have time to shop. I don't like shopping anyway. I bought a pair of Nike mid-tops, a nice 3/4 length dress, a pair of sneakers for my son, a Guess letterman jacket for him as well and a nice pair of jeans and that was it. I was not able to get any jeans. I went to the Levi store but didn't have enough time to find my size. That was fine though. I'll just go back by myself next time.

While I was at the mall, I was finally able to make contact with the guy that Bear told me about. I scheduled an appointment for Friday at 6pm, which I will probably have to reschedule because my son has karate practice that day, to obtain my concealed firearm permit. Yes, you heard/read correctly. I am getting my gun license. This thing with Kevin is getting out of hand and I have to make sure my son and I are okay at all measures. I can't continue to underestimate these people. I'm looking forward to the training though.

I took my treatment today.

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