Thursday, February 4, 2016

Day 77 - Thursday, February 4, 2016

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"The only time you should ever look back is to see how far you've come."
-Unknown

I bet you guys were waiting for me to make today's post. Well wait no more. Here it is.

Today is my first doctor's appointment with an actual Infectious Disease Specialist. I pooped so much this morning that I had to take another shower afterwards. My nerves are bad and I am afraid of more bad results. I might find out that I am one foot further into my grave.

After taking my massive morning shadoobie, I packed my pills in my carry out bottle and headed out to work. My coworker still doesn't know I'm sick so I couldn't show just how bothered I was today. Instead, I had to be her shoulder to lean on and her listening ear as always. She told me about all of her problems with her husband, finances, and her children. I listened and gave good advice as always while suppressing my own issues.

By the time I was finished listening to her, I was more stressed out. I was thinking to myself, You call THESE problems?! Like really??

I forgot to mention that my stomach does a constant mildly painful rumbling for hours on end every day. Today, it was intensified. I couldn't take listening to my friend's so-called problems anymore. I was going to find out I am closer to dying and leaving my son today. So one thing lead to another and we ended up at a Cuban restaurant drinking some oh so yummy cafe con leche and splitting a steak and egg breakfast sandwich. 

Major no no on several levels. But I didn't care at the moment. Meat is forbidden. Bread is forbidden. Coffee is forbidden. Eggs are forbidden. And milk is the worst enemy of healing. So, there you have it. When we got back to the office my stomach was furious. I felt light-headed, my tummy was churning and I wanted to cry. But one of my other co-workers was right next to me and she is too nosey for me to give her the satisfaction of seeing me in pain.

So, I grabbed my keys and darted out of there, giving her a quick line that I was not feeling well and headed to the doctor. But I knew I had to take a shadoobie first and went home. I sent my boss a text message telling him that I wasn't feeling well and was going to the doctor and that I would try to be back after lunch time. I told him I would bring him a doctor's note to confirm my visit. He told me not to worry about it and to get better. That was very nice of him and a stress-relief in one area.

I left work around 11 in the morning. My appointment is at 12:45pm. I spent that entire time, up until 12:41pm, in my porcelain office on the toilet. Then I zoomed over to the facility. I felt uncomfortable surrounded by so many patients that actually looked sick. Not only for that reason, but because this was a PUBLIC facility for treating HIV/AIDS.

The stomach rumbling increased as I entered the building. Luckily, Mr. Scholar called me as soon as I checked in. Talking to him made me forget where I was. He told me that one of his sisters told him that she had a vision about us last night. A vision that she walked past and saw us at the end of a long corridor and it was only the two of us. She said that I really want him and love him. So I'm there for the family only to be of support for him. Some crap like that. Immediately following the revelation of the vision to him, he got a tarot card reading from one of the other sisters. According to the reading, he and I are meant to be together and I empower him in every way.

Snap back to reality. I sat there, in the office, doing what I do best...I cried. I didn't want to hear this. He sent me a snap shot of a cheap bus ticket he found to come be with me for a week. He said he needed to be around me, to be in my presence. Now was my time to lace up my sneakers and run. This was getting too real and I wanted out. So, that is exactly what I told him. I ended it right there and disconnected myself from his group online. That part hurt deeply as well. I no longer had such a sensual and intelligent admirer. Nor did I have a strong, stable source of knowledge and socialization. But I had to do what I had to do. The first law of nature is self-preservation. He taught me that.

The staff was pretty decent. The environment just really sucked. I was given a brief questionnaire about sexual activity and drugs and alcohol before being seen. The doctor fed off of my energy because I was in very high spirits after speaking with Mr. Scholar. I hadn't ended it with him yet. I ended it after my appointment. The doctor laughed a lot because I am very cheerful to others. He gave me an examination of my abdomen, neck, and feet. I assume he was checking for swelling of the lymph nodes. The triage nurse said my blood pressure was perfect and my weight was 184 pounds.

After the doctor examined me, he sat down with my lab results to explain them to me. I made faces as he spoke about the rapid transition of my disease. He told me not to worry and explained that the way the T-cells are calculated are based on the normal range of where they are supposed to be. He said based on my medical records, my levels have ALWAYS been low. So it's not a fair calculation although it is accurate. Basically, he was saying that just because my count is low, doesn't mean that I have had the disease for a very long time.

I was EXTREMELY happy to hear that, although it doesn't take away from the accuracy of the results. Now, he was preparing to read the results of the recent blood work. Here goes:

FIRST LAB RESULTS                                                   TODAY'S LAB RESULTS
Collection Date: 1-11-2016                                               Collection Date: 1-21-2016
Viral Load: 5,287                                                               Viral Load: 3,365
T-Cell Count: 115                                                              T-Cell Count: 148

So there was definitely significant improvement in a short period of time. I am very happy about this and extremely motivated to do better with my eating habits from here on out and to continue following Dr. Sebi's methods. He gave me a prescription for an HIV medication called Genvoya. I'll check the spelling later. He was explaining that this is a pill that I only have to take once a day. However, he said that I would have to take it for the rest of my life. He said within the next year they will be coming out with a shot that you only have to take once every two months. I am definitely not interested in that. I don't trust these medical doctors and how they try to use people in public facilities as guinea pigs. He also said he would be scheduling me for vaccines in the near future. I told him that was a definite negative also. The things they sneak into those vaccines are unheard of. No modern medicine if I can help it.

He scheduled my follow-up appointment for April 7th at 12:45pm. I left the office with a big smile on my face and more faith in Dr. Sebi than ever before. This man is the truth and he is going to save my life. Now, I can live without worrying about dying. All I have to worry about now is being able to financially sustain myself and afford the treatments until I am cured.

I took my son to basketball practice. My brother called me as soon as it was over.This is the brother who lives out of town and flew in  to take care of me when I first got the news. When he asked me about the results, I jokingly said my cell count fell to 48. He was quiet. Then I realized which brother I was talking to and immediately felt bad. He's more sensitive than the others and you can't really play with him like that. So, I hurried up and corrected my statement. He told me my joke wasn't nice and I apologized.

But he was happy about the news and understood the explanation of the progression of my disease. After speaking with him, I called my brother who lives in the same city as me. He is the one who paid for the package. I was overjoyed to tell him the news! Now he would continue to believe in Dr. Sebi and stay on board as my support team.

He was very surprised and happy to hear the news. He told me that he loves me and my son and suggested that I get out more. Then we talked about local farmer's markets where I could purchase more quality fruits and vegetables. I also told him about an idea I came up with to freeze my smoothie ingredients in individual ziploc bags to cut back on prep time and make following the Nutritional Guide more attainable because I had been messing up when I get depressed. He said it was a good idea and asked me how much of the treatment I had left. I told him I had a decent amount. Then he told me to keep monitoring my supply so I know when to order the next package and not to hesitate to ask him for financial help because he knows I hate to ask.

I decided to go out with a bang on the last day of messing up my eating. I took my son to Wendy's after his basketball practice and bought him a meal. I also got myself a spicy chicken sandwich as my last hoorah before going back to being 100% vegan-Sebian-alkaline. 

I have still been kind of down in the dumps emotionally due to being alone. I haven't done any laundry in ages. As a result, I went to the store and bought my son and I clean clothes to wear for tomorrow. I miss talking to Mr. Scholar but I have to do what's right. I can't have him falling in love with me, developing feelings, making plans to come my city, and I am sick. That's not fair to him. And I can't allow myself to get attached to this man knowing that I have not yet healed over Anthony, knowing that I question his sexuality (as I question every man's sexuality these days), and not knowing exactly what kind of man is he aside from being highly intelligent. He could be a womanizer or woman beater. I have no idea. I put on my sneakers for a reason. I need to run. Maybe it's meant for me to be alone forever. It's quite possible.

Tomorrow, I will begin eating only the foods I am supposed to eat and trying to take in more water. I will adhere to guidelines and take my treatments on time no matter how it may hurt my stomach or make me sick. I have to be dedicated again.

There is hope...

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Time
Dr. Sebi Product
Dosage
Form
9:00 AM
Bio Ferro
3 capsules in the A.M. & P.M.
Capsules
9:00 AM
Bromide Plus
4 capsules daily
Capsules
9:00 AM
Chelation 2
2 capsules in the A.M. & P.M.
Capsules
9:00 AM
Estro
4 capsules daily
Capsules
9:00 AM
Fucus
2 capsules in the A.M. & P.M.
Capsules
9:00 AM
Green Food
4 capsules daily
Capsules
9:00 AM
Lupulo
Add ½ tsp. in one ounce of water, take 3 times daily.
Tonic
9:00 AM
Lymphalin
3 capsules in the A.M. & P.M.
Capsules
9:00 AM
Viento
4 capsules daily
Capsules


Time
Dr. Sebi Product
Dosage
Form
10:00 PM
Bio Ferro
3 capsules in the A.M. & P.M.
Capsules
10:00 PM
Lily of the Valley
Pour 1 cup of boiling water to 1/8 tsp of powder, let cool and drink.
Powder
10:00 PM
Chelation 2
2 capsules in the A.M. & P.M.
Capsules
10:00 PM
Fucus
2 capsules in the A.M. & P.M.
Capsules
10:00 PM
Lupulo
Add ½ tsp. in one ounce of water, take 3 times daily.
Tonic
10:00 PM
Lymphalin
3 capsules in the A.M. & P.M.
Capsules

11 comments:

  1. I'm so happy, you go girl! you can do it.

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  2. YES! I am so excited for you! Keep your head up, continue to fight and you will be healed in no time. God does all things well and this will be an AWESOME, AMAZING testimony some day soon. I know the focus is on healing at the moment but who knows? Mr. Scholar could quite possibly be the one. :)

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    Replies
    1. Lol. You made me laugh with that one. Who knows?

      I can't wait to see more results of healing down the line. I just have to get back to being disciplined about my eating.

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    2. Lol I hear ya! Have a good day!

      Delete
  3. Hey; its me...FLJ. I know how this ends because I jumped ahead to the ending when I found this blog, but now I'm reading everything I skipped. I hope this question is not too personal, but what was your excrement like if you were fasting? Was it old stuff being cleansed off your intestinal walls or mucous?
    Your relationship with your brothers is so cute. Are you the baby of the family?

    FLJ

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    Replies
    1. I appreciate you always letting me know it's you by writing "FLJ." Thank you for that. As for my excrement, every time I took a shadoobie it would come out like urine. Hmm, I'm trying to give you a more visual description. It was like a very watered down chili or stew, minus the potatoes. I think urine describes it the best. It looked like brown urine with traces of egg whites. That's what the mucous looked like. Egg whites. And yes, I am the baby, although I rarely allow them to treat me as such.

      -Queen Selah

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    2. And yes, it felt like all the old stuff being cleaned out. Without the alkaline diet, we are all full of shit.

      -Queen Selah

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  4. Thanks for the clarity, and thank you for always responding. I had been watching mucoid plaque videos on youtube and was wondering if that happened for you with Dr. Sebi products. I love the relationships that you have with your brothers. I am an only child so sibling love is an experience I will never know. Thanks for allowing me to experience that thru you.

    FLJ

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    Replies
    1. My son is an only child and he likes it that way. Sometimes I consider having more children because that is a great experience to have siblings. It builds social skills and character. But I don't want to have to deal with another man having input on how to raise my child. I know what I am doing in that arena. I am not close with ANY of my brothers anymore following this ordeal. I am damaged goods and they don't understand. I feel like an only child.

      -Queen Selah

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  5. My son is too, but he has siblings from his dad. He's ok with them, but they are some years apart and did not really grow up together. I'm sorry about your relationship with your brothers. This diagnosis is rough in many ways and its so unfortunate that some people allow it to tear apart families and friendships. Are you allowing friends and family to love you? Some people will always be there and have your back even if you tell them not to, but others will take you at your words and stay away. I am adopting you; we are now sisters : )

    As always; thanks for allowing me to go on this journey. I feel like I am a better person and am prepared if I have to be there for a loved one.


    FLJ

    ReplyDelete