Monday, February 29, 2016

Day 101 - Sunday, February 28, 2016

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"A strong woman" is one who is able to smile this morning like she wasn't crying last night.
-
Unknown

I woke up early this morning, lit some incense and made my son breakfast. I don't cook that much anymore since I have become a Sebian. Most of my meals are smoothies or raw. 

I made one of my son's favorite breakfast meals, scrambled eggs and bacon. No, he has not crossed over 100% yet. It was not tempting to make the bacon because I have never liked that. However, the eggs were a bit tempting. I ate one forkful. I admit it. I woke him up for his breakfast then opened up my package from Dr. Sebi and arranged them in the kitchen according to the packing slip.

I took my morning dosage and finally decided to try the Bromide Plus Powder since I no longer had a choice. I was fresh out of the capsules. I decided to follow the recipe on the lid to see how it turns out. The recipe reads as follows:

Bromide Plus Recipe Mix: 1/2 Tbsp Bromide Plus Powder, 1/4 Cup Agave Syrup, 1/2 tsp Cinnamon (Optional), 1/2 tsp Vanilla Extract, 1 cup Fresh Fruit (Optional), 1 Quart Spring Water, 3 Tbsp of Walnuts (Optional) 

Preparation:
Combine agave syrup, cinnamon, fruit, walnuts, vanilla and Bromide Plus Powder in blender. Add boiling water and blend for 3-4 minutes. Drink as much as you like.

I followed the directions and prepared myself for the awful taste. I was wrong. It was a thick, smooth lava eruption of yumminess! It smelled good also. I did not add cinnamon because I didn't have any. And I used mango as my fruit. This warm shake lasted me all day to finish it. My brother also made me a Sebi approved soup later on in the night. I stood in the kitchen with him while he prepared it with his awesome girlfriend.

I had already had a mild emotional breakdown in the kitchen. Any time my brother comes in to town I immediately get sad because all I can think about is him leaving. So, I cried for a very short period of time while standing in the kitchen. But I am getting much better at controlling it. I took a few very deep breaths while the tears flowed and was able to stop myself from crying full force. 

My emotions control everything in my life. Even my health. I drank the soup my brother made but was not physically able to eat my favorite part. My brother makes the best dumplings ever. But I was too emotionally sick to eat. I didn't want to seem ungrateful, so I forced myself to drink the broth but immediately got sharp pains to my sides and abdomen. He went through all of that trouble for me and I couldn't even eat.

I have a lot on my plate. I don't even do the laundry as much as I should. If I could just get a few extra dollars to buy a used washer and dryer that would solve a lot of my problems. My son really wanted to spend time with my brother before he leaves in the morning, so I was happy about them being able to spend some time together.

I also felt very uncomfortable around his friends and my sister's boyfriend who was also present. My brother has a habit of telling people who are close to him about my disease and not taking into account whether or not they are close to me. So, ever since I found out that he will disclose my status to people without asking or informing me, I always feel uncomfortable around his people. My sister's boyfriend is very nice but every time he speaks to me or gets close to me, I feel like I have the cooties. I feel as if he knows my condition and I feel ashamed. I felt the same way about his female friend who was there but she was already gone to the airport at this time.

Sundays always suck because you have to prepare for the week to begin. Relaxation time is over. I'm tired. Both mentally, physically and emotionally. It's so hard to follow through with certain things at this time. I gave my brother a bag of Guaco to take home with him and drove the hour long journey back to my house.

3 comments:

  1. Keep your head to the Sky. Im praying for all of us.

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  2. I'm sorry Im just finding your blog so recently; I hope that you are not reliving the rough times when you respond to my comments. After reading this; Jennifer Hudson singing "You Pulled Me Through" popped into my mind. Thanks for allowing us into your life.

    FLJ

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