Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Day 69 - Wednesday, January 27, 2016

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"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone."
-Bill Cosby

10:25 AM

Good morning everyone. I woke up with thick saliva once again. I also began gagging violently once again before I could even find my toothbrush. After I got through the initial convulsing, I was able to brush my teeth. Then do oil pulling as suggested by one of my readers. I used coconut oil. If you are not familiar with what oil pulling is, I will include a brief description below.

"Oil pulling, also known as "kavala" or "gundusha," is an ancient Ayurvedic dental technique that involves swishing a tablespoon of oil in your mouth on an empty stomach for around 20 minutes. This action supposedly draws out toxins in your body, primarily to improve oral health but also to improve your overall health." 
Time
Dr. Sebi Product
Dosage
Form
8:00 AM
Banju
2 tbsp in the A.M. & P.M.
Tonic
8:00 AM
Iron Plus
2 tbsp in the A.M. & P.M.
Tonic
8:00 AM
Bio Ferro
3 capsules in the A.M. & P.M.
Capsules
8:00 AM
Bromide Plus
4 capsules daily
Capsules
8:00 AM
Chelation 2
2 capsules in the A.M. & P.M.
Capsules
8:00 AM
Estro
4 capsules daily
Capsules
8:00 AM
Fucus
2 capsules in the A.M. & P.M.
Capsules
8:00 AM
Green Food
4 capsules daily
Capsules
8:00 AM
Lupulo
Add ½ tsp. in one ounce of water, take 3 times daily.
Tonic
8:00 AM
Lymphalin
3 capsules in the A.M. & P.M.
Capsules
8:00 AM
Viento
4 capsules daily
Capsules

I did some research on the causes of thick saliva and came up with this:

 

I highlighted the two I believe are the possible causes. But they are no big deal. I'm just sharing all of my possible information with you. I forgot to tell you guys that it is very important to watch Dr. Sebi's lectures and videos on YouTube whenever you have a moment to listen to his wealth of knowledge. Even if you can't dedicate your undivided attention to it at the moment, you will still catch the information subconsciously. It's very important to be armed with these items along your journey. They help you stay focused and disciplined. Research! Research! Research!

I also went to the beach yesterday evening after getting off of work. The beach, and almost any place in nature, provides me with a great sense of solace. My son made Student of the Month at his school and he was beaming with pride when he told me yesterday, so he accompanied me to the beach. I bought a new bathing suit and went walking along the shore as my son used his imagination to play countless games in the sand. As always, I took a few pictures before leaving. I arrived at the beach around sunset, so there was a warm lighting in my background. The beach always brings out whatever emotions I am feeling and make me feel better. 

I took my treatment like a champ this morning! But the effects kicked in about an hour and a half later. I am starting to become concerned for my job. I can't keep leaving to go back and forth to the bathroom at home. So, when my stomach began to bubble this morning, I grabbed my keys to rush out the door to head home. When I got downstairs, I decided to take a risk by using the restroom downstairs. Big mistake!!!

As soon as I got in the stall and disrobed, it seemed as if they had called a meeting in the bathroom. There are only two stalls in there so all of the attention was on me. I immediately flushed to evacuate any smells that may have came about and tried to clench my butt cheeks as tight as humanly possibly. But the party went on. They weren't leaving any time soon and there was even a child present. The little girl said, "There's someone in there sitting down." 

Oh lord!!! Now they're peeping. I died three times and came back to life. I had to get out of there. And there was no way in doing so without going unnoticed. So, I cleaned myself up, cut my Shadoobie short, walked out of the stall, rushed through washing my hands and darted out of there straight to my car before they could make any eye contact. Once I got home, inside my OWN Porcelain Office, I let it rip! And it came out like urine. At this point I felt drained, dizzy, and dehydrated. I don't want to feel like Wonder Woman today. After leaving the beach last night, I was Superwoman, and I would like to keep it that way.

I am so close to telling my boss that I have colon cancer. This can't continue to go on this way. It's not good for my job.

To be continued...



I went to bed as soon as I came home from work. I was drained, empty, and exhausted. I slept so long that I got my son to karate practice almost 20 minutes late. I kept spitting up to try to rid myself of that thick saliva, but I was too exhausted to oil pull or even swish with mouthwash. All I did yesterday was lay in bed.

My friend called to check on me and I told her I'm on my way out. I'm dying. And at least it doesn't hurt. She didn't want to hear that. I asked her if she would sing at my funeral. Her response was that I'm not dying. Okay. She said if I die she will give up on life.

The only other reason for such fatigue is that my cycle could be coming on. If my cycle doesn't come on in a few days then I'll know that I am possibly dying a slow, painless death. I wanted to call one of my friends over for help but I decided against it. I laid there, and laid there, and laid there...

I'm still going to the bathroom constantly and at times I feel as though I'm going to wither away. I'm thinking that my current condition has a lot to do with emotions. I still have a lot of resentment in my heart and unanswered questions pertaining to Anthony that sometimes drive me crazy. I feel disrespected by what he did and the way he gave no explanation and just ran for cover with his tail stuck between his legs. I have to find a way to get closure or get over. This shit is killing me. I'm suffering. My mood is up and down all the time. I need some stability. If I can't get my emotions in order I'm afraid I'm going to go running the streets trying to find something to do and that isn't me. I don't like to go out. I like to be at home. But being in the house idle makes my mind run wild.

Around 10pm, I was invited to join a conference call about why the black woman is God. I kept putting it off because I am shy at times. I kept trying to find other little things to do around the house. But around midnight I received a message saying the discussion was getting good. So, I finally gave in and joined the phone conference. It was amazing! I ended up staying on the phone with them for three hours. They wanted me to join their "tribe" and move to Chicago. I'm not sure about all of that, but the discussion was definitely empowering. Towards the end, something inside of me rose up. I was compelled to tell these complete strangers about what happened to me. I told them about how I don't trust the human race anymore and I have a great fear of people because of what Anthony did to me. Because of the way he deceived me and didn't give me the choice as to whether or not I WANTED to date a gay/bisexual man.

They were floored and I was nervous during the following silence. Then they began to speak. Nothing but love and encouragement flowed through the phone lines. They kept encouraging me and told me they love me. I didn't tell them about the disease part because I am learning that is not EVERYONE'S business. There was an outpouring of support. And that's when they told me to move out to Chicago with them where I would be praised as the Queen I am. Maybe one day, I will fly out there to visit. But I doubt I would move there and leave my good job.

My brother kept telling me to join a church group for support when we first found out I was positive. But I was totally against that. I am not a church person. The church will drive me deeper and faster into the ground from what I have experienced. I knew that wasn't the route for me. But speaking with these people, my brothers and sisters, felt right. At least for the moment. No commitments on my end as of yet.

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