Monday, December 21, 2015

Day 6 - Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Image result for depression
"It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone."
-Rose Kennedy
Today was a horrible day for many reasons. I feel like giving up. I'm having suicidal thoughts and I didn't even want to take my treatment today. Guys are coming from everywhere trying to hit on me. It makes my skin crawl. I hate "men" now! And it doesn't help that all my co-worker chooses to talk about is how in love Anthony and I were. And how many changes in his life he made for me and how I should give him another chance. Those conversations hurt. All she knows is that he slept with a man, but I didn't tell her that I contracted H.I.V. from it. I broke down at my desk and had to go home early.

I just wanted to die and get it over with already. I will have no justice for what was done to me by the man I loved. Nor will I have any help or support in treating/curing this disease. I want to die. And it doesn't help that I keep having nightmares about Anthony and Kevin together. I didn't care about eating today. I had a slice of turkey, 2 spoons of stuffing, green beans, cucumbers, lettuce and tomato from a luncheon at work. I also finally drank the remainder of the sour sop, papaya, and sea moss smoothie. I did not drink much water today. I also ate a bread roll and a few pieces of raw okra.

Today was a bad day. I laid in bed and looked at the pictures from the photo shoot I did yesterday while crying on and off. I am beautiful...

Test                              Result
Enzymedica                 6.75 pH
Health Wiser                6.5 pH

Treatment                              Form                              Brand                              Dosage
Burdock                                  Capsule 425mg               Solaray                             1 cap b.i.d.
Sarsaparilla                             Capsule 450mg               Solaray                             3 caps b.i.d.
Burdock Root                         Liquid Extract                 Gaia Organics                  40 drops b.i.d.
Black Elderberry                    Liquid Extract                 Herb Pharm                      40 drops b.i.d.
Dandelion                               Liquid Extract                 Herb Pharm                      1 full dropper b.i.d.
Sea Vegetables                       Powder                            Raw Reserve                    1 tablespoon daily